The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent's had the experience; you're on the way out, and your little one is making you late in search for his favorite teddy. Or maybe your 8 month old will not stop crying in her cradle because her pacifier is lost. As a parent you know how debilitating this can be. On the other hand, to your little ones the absence of his tattered teddy bear is what may feel frustrating. Comfort objects are just what they sound like, and are an essential, healthy part of childhood.

By the time children reach the age of one, they have turned to a security or comfort object that they keep kept with them constantly. In younger children, a pacifier or even the child's thumb will generally work very nicely to relieve and settle them during a time of need. As your baby grows to toddler age, they'll often look for something that is more physically satisfying like a favorite blanket or teddy. There are many who believe that the soft texture of such toys is the reason for the warm effect they have on little ones. Toddlers will often stroke a stuffed animal or rub a blankie on their arm or face in order to sooth themselves.

Another comfort feature a child can find with comfort items is the correlation they make with you. Rubbing the blanket on your child's face could remind him or her of your clothing or skin when embraced or rocked by you. Or possibly the soft toy was always part of their sleep ritual you developed with your child. Again, the connection with you giving comfort to your child or making him feel shielded is what causes the strong connection to these items. Every so often children make security objects out of less common possessions. It could be anything from a heart shaped block to a mitten. Although this connection is not always as obvious, there is more than likley an emotional attachment the child has made to find comfort from the item.

Although it may be irritating to live with a child's continuous need for their teddy or blankie, it is extremely important to keep in mind that this period of their childhood is both important and healthy. The world is a uncertain place to a small child, particularly as they reach their first birthday. It's here in these early years that a child will start to suffer from separation anxiety because they're more likely to be separated from you through a sitter, nursery school, or even by their own choice as they are physically capable of exploring the world around them. By using a comfort item, your child is learning ways to comfort herself when you aren't there and as they begin their independence. Consider it as a temporary partner to help them get through this time period.

It won't be until your child reaches age three or four that she or he will start to control and regulate their emotions and don't need to rely on a security object for securtiy, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development expert. It is at this same age that carrying a battered blankie is less socially acceptable by their friends. Who knew children had peer pressure issues so young? At any rate, it's perhaps better to accept this stage of life as the stepping stone that it is. By doing so you will help their emotional development and growth. Certainly something worthy of your temporary frustration.